They say, (statistically speaking- of course) that Wednesday is the best day to fire someone. I guess because there are more cases of people going postal earlier in the week, and if you do it on Friday that gives the former employee 2 unproductive days to stew in their indignation.

For us, the call came at 12PM. Noon, Wednesday- 10AM Hawaii and 2PM for the next most eastern district- vey calculated and corporate. Our usually regal regional manager’s voice had an uncharacteristic and unsettling quality to it. With in the first few sentences the band aid was off: “over the next 60 days, all 660 stores will be closed. Severance will be provided for those who we cannot relocate… there will be no questions at this time”

I remember looking over into the next cubicle: seriously? I had just received my 2^nd promotion. 4 figure commission checks were becoming normal. I had plans to interview for my own franchise in the near future. That Corvette I always wanted was becoming reality. I was the top producer in our district and known regionally. People called me for advice. It took me a year and a half of awkward meetings, thousands of butchered cold calls, and humbling rejection: but I was finally one of the best.

To frost the cake, a friend and I had gotten what we thought was some great news that morning: congratulations! You’ve finally been approved for a beautiful 3 bedroom house in Pismo Beach. Fantastic, we’ll be by with the deposit on our lunch, Steph.

That night as I grudgingly crammed my life into 3’x4’ packing boxes and hurled them into the back of a dark storage unit, I had a moment of clarity: The conclusion to any facet of life is really just a door opening to welcome in new experience- and in the end, isn’t that the point of life- the experience?

It’s a lot like going to a new school (for me, anyway): you awkwardly stumble through the first 3 years, and grow as a person. Then you’re a senior- you have a cute girlfriend, a car, a comfortable niche of friends. On the surface level it’s great, but not if you stay a 5^th year.  Then it’s over, life snatches that carpet from under your feet. Before you know what happened you’re cramming your stuff in the trunk of mom’s Accord, a small fish in a big pond again: the growth cycle repeats.

I think when people stagnate in life they stop growing. The timing was almost uncanny- it’s like the cosmos did this just for me; whispering in my ear: “come on kid… I did this all for you. You learned everything you could have here…You were meant for bigger and better things. This is what you asked for, so don’t show me any tears.”

I guess I had this ideal that life would kind of set and gel after college. I had this erroneous schema of how life is structured: you go to college, find a job, get promoted, find a girl, have some kids, and maybe somewhere in the mix you join a bowling league. Then you die.

The older I get the less I feel I know. Dichotomies blend. New growth and experience are constant. Every few years I feel like a new person. Exciting stuff.

Thousands upon thousands are yearly brought into a state of real poverty by their great anxiety not to be thought of as poor.

—Robert Mallett

In the seventh grade, my history teacher Ms. Aranow posed a question I still remember today: she asked the class “why do you think it is the Native Indians were less technologically advanced than the European settlers?”

There are probably many plausible answers to this question. The one that I found most insightful and provocative is that they didn’t have a monetary system. Everything was either communal or had to be bartered for. No one mastered trades, no one mass produced anything. If you wanted a blanket, you traded some arrows. Life was that simple.

In a lot of ways the Native Indians remind me of Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden. Everyone probably led simple, contentment filled lives. People ate stuff off trees and walked around naked.

Aside from that, the deeper parallel to the Biblical reference is that there were no major wars and probably little stress in day to day life- also missed were monuments, cultural history, great works of art, and the slew of other complexities that come with money. Arguably, Natives didn’t know the depth of pain and pleasure Europeans had experienced.

I work for a large commercial bank. Not the largest, but to give you an idea we have about 280,000+ employees. If everyone made minimum wage (even the tellers make significantly more) that comes out to about $19,000,000 in salaries for a day. Forget all the high paid executives, forget all the property rent, and forget that the company still made a profit last quarter (do you know how much a days worth of toilet paper costs for a company that size!? I estimate about $32,000- and that’s assuming we buy the cheap crap- it’s middle of the road at worst).

Can we agree the company spends well, well over 19+ mil a day? So where does all this value you come from?

From people who bite the apple. From people who want the flash and all the status and power that it entails now- and choose not to wait. From people who finance cars, houses, jewelry, and rims (really) they can’t pay cash for- and collectively end up paying somewhere far north of 19+ million a day for it.

The thought is both ironic and paradoxical: people who can’t really afford things have amassed enough wealth to support a lucrative multi-billion dollar banking industry, as well as lubricate the monetary cogs that are part of the industrial machine which produces the modern life we know: full of science, amazingly skilled professionals, brutal wars, beautiful art, and money motivated politics- to name a few.

I’m not assigning value to this- I think it is clear that a dichotomous “good” or “bad” label would be childish and shortsighted. I’m merely pointing out a truth- if no one financed anything we could literally redirect enough value to create hundreds, if not thousands of millionaires a day. But where would we be?

Behind gates: heaven or hell? mansion or jail?

A few weeks ago my District Manager was in our local office, dishing out an obligatory Monday morning motivational sales speech.  Somewhere between the crisp one-liners and standard weekly commitments, he paused and reflectively digressed from the trodden path. The monologue really stuck with me:

I think everyone wants to be successful… everyone wants to drive the nice car, have the income, have a nice body. We all want the six pack abs, but who’s really willing to do what it takes? Who’s going to work out everyday and eat high fiber cereal?

At first his little speech stuck with me because I thought it was amusing. High-fiber cereal? Where did that come from? But it was real, and I totally got his message- while peak fitness is a little more complex than working out everyday and eating high fiber cereal, that really is pretty much the crux of successful fitness program.

It’s very simple. Not easy, but simple. You simply have to do the things you probably already know you should be doing, do them everyday, and don’t cut corners. Eating right + exercise, and how many people do we have who are so unhappy with their body that it negatively influences their self image? It’s insane. It’s so remedial, that this kind of advice is often dismissed.

I think this example really hit home as well because fitness is the one area of my life where I feel I’ve had real success. It feels great when people come up and ask me ‘what do you do for your back?’ or ‘what supplements do you take?’ then people wrinkle their noses when I tell them supplements are a waste, and I do a ton of pull ups and eat clean when I can. It’s not sexy. Everyone wants a magic pill or some secret tip that will let them skip the doing part, the execution.

While there have definitely been points in my life where I have been 100% satisfied with my fitness, that wasn’t always the case. I started out with a goal in mind, and worked my ass off to get it. I was religious about it. I was going to the gym 5 times a week and pushing myself to failure on every set. It didn’t matter if I was sick or it was raining, or if I had to go alone- which I almost always did. I was eating that high-fiber cereal. Badass.

Now I’m 23 and my aspirations have definitely changed. I don’t care as much about looking good, I’d rather be highly successful in my career choice. While I’ve done well at my job, I want to have the level of success I’ve had with fitness: I want to be able to reflect on that area of my life and honestly say to myself ‘yeah… there’s nothing here that I have control over that I would change’.

I think it’s time to go back to the fundamentals that made me great at other things; it’s time to get tough.

It’s time for 100 cold calls a day. It’s time to read and motivate myself in my off time. It’s time to start coming in on the weekends. It’s time to stop drinking. It’s time to start actually doing at least the things I know will help. It’s not going to be sexy or fun. Who cares. It will be worth it. Courage is simply a decision. It’s time to get sick. It’s time to get on some double-day, power tie, Boiler Room stuff. It’s time for some high-fiber cereal.

Now be relentless; that’s it. I’m done.

And now hold up your chain slow motion through the flames
Now cue the smoke machines and the simulated rain…

Daydreamin’, – Lupe Fiasco ft. Jill Scott

When I first started in the banking industry, I remember being shocked at the amount of debt people had. Now I don’t even flinch when I pull a credit report and see 20, 30… 50K in credit card debt. 3 vehicles financed. A mortgage, and a home equity line of credit. It’s almost pathological.

I don’t know when it became normal to carry thousands of dollars on a credit card, but it is. I think it has a lot to do with people’s ego: 90% of the time people finance stuff they don’t even need. The feather that broke the camel’s back is always the luxury car, big mortgage payment, or credit card debt.

I’m sure it’s a cultural thing. The difference between driving a Mercedes and a Honda to work isn’t just the leather seating. The price label isn’t justified by just the material value: leather seats and a sleek design isn’t worth the extra 25K. But that’s just it- you aren’t just buying leather seats. You’re buying a piece of identity. Big businesses have made things into identity, and society has bought it. I think Eckhart Tolle describes this phenomena best:

The people in the advertising industry know very well that in order to sell things that people don’t really need, they must convince them that those things will add something to how they see themselves or are seen by others; in other words, add something to their sense of self… And so in many cases you are not buying a product but an “identity enhancer.”

Designer labels are primarily collective identities that you buy into. They are expensive and therefore “exclusive.” If everybody could buy them, they would lose their psychological value and all you would be left with would be their material value, which likely amounts to a fraction of what you paid.

Paradoxically, what keeps the so-called consumer society going is the fact that trying to find yourself through things doesn’t work: The ego satisfaction is short-lived and so you keep looking for more, keep buying, keep consuming.

This last part I’ve found to be especially true- whenever I “get” something I thought I really wanted (a new car, clothes, maybe even a girl I was really attracted to) I’ll be on a high for a few weeks, or months depending on  how much significance I endowed the acquisition. Eventually, however, this high inevitably wears off and I am left with an addictive dysphoria.

Even though I am aware that I have plenty, and that our consumer culture is fundamentally flawed, I am not ready to let go of the chase either.

To conclude,  it seems knowing isn’t always enough. I think people have to be really ready to change. With any kind of addiction, I’ve noticed that no amount of factual information, peer pressure, or first hand experience will cause a lasting change. It has to come from within. You have to be ready to let it go, and it has to be for you.

Well I went down to have my fortune told.
Well I went to see the gypsy to have my fortune told.
She said “You ain’t got no future, you ain’t never growing old,”

And the clouds keep rolling on in.

Well, how many times have I defied the cold clutches of death?
And how many times have I stopped short from taking that last step?
And every time I’ve tried to hurt you, I have only hurt hurt myself,

And the clouds keep rolling on in.

It was a warm New Years Eve, we we’re in South L.A. at a concert, waiting for David Guetta to come on. I was sipping a beer, standing with my friends, eying a guy in a wheel chair doing ‘light shows’ for people. He was wearing a mask that the Jabbawockeez had recently popularized. It was pretty trippy looking, I’ll admit. He was a young guy, built. His girlfriend was cute, she had a certain hometown appeal to her that I can’t describe; like you knew she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed but that’s partly why she was so adorable.

“That’s a sick mask”

“Thanks, you want a light show?”

“No, I’m good. I’m not really into that…”

I pause for a second and then let my curiosity best my manners:

“But, if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your leg?”

I said it in a nonchalant way; almost dismissively. I guess I didn’t really care much, just a conversation piece. No one was sober. I asked just to ask. Besides, a kid his age? He probably broke it playing football or hurt his back riding a motorcycle. It was probably a good story, I thought. What happened next made my stomach drop.  Jarod (I’d find out later) looked right at me. I could tell he was taller than me, but he had to look up anyways because of the wheelchair. With a one-sided, hair lipped smile, he paused, and dropped it on me:

“I just got back from Iraq.”

I swallowed. My mouth went dry and I wasn’t sure how to feel. Anxious? Embarrassed? I’m not entirely ignorant, I’ve seen the news. I’ve read the stories.  I’ve seen veterans missing limbs or maimed before. But never anyone my age, not in person, talking to me as another human being.  This was different; this was real. This I could relate to, empathize with. This wasn’t the 60+ year old Vietnam vet who looked too old and decrepit to have ever been quick on his feet anyways, who fought in some esoteric war before I was born. This guy was my age, athletic, went to the same events I went to, liked the same music I like.

We stood there in silence while digested what had just happened.

“Fuck man… what happened?”

Sensitivity has never been my forte; but I asked in a way that he must have understood, because he smiled and grabbed the cuffs of both his jean legs and pulled up from the ankle. My stomach dropped even further. Really? both Legs? He had on normal shoes, but where his ankles should have been 2 copper poles- about a quarter’s length in diameter- protruded out of loosely hanging Fruit of the Loom socks. I put my thumb on my temple and stood there with my hand covering my forehead and my left eye, just cringing and looking like a dumbass.

“It was just a random EID on the side of the road. We weren’t even the bomb squad, I just stepped too close to it and BAM! Next thing I knew my ears we’re ringing?”

“A what?”

He went on to explain what an IED was, an “Improvised Explosive Devise”. Basically it’s a home made bomb that terrorists use, and they fill them with shards, just random shit they hope will help to mutilate people- nails, sharp rocks, Jarod caught a metal casing from a machine gun bullet in the back of his foot.

“So was you’re leg, I mean your legs, we’re they just like in pieces all over the side of the road?” (I had to know. I wanted to see this in my mind. We were past formalities- – It was like a really graphic or disturbing picture: you know its going to be seared into your memory whether you want it there or not, but you take a minute to really dissect it an appreciate all of the nasty, morbid little nuances  anyways.)

“no, it wasn’t like that. This one, there was a piece of metal shrapnel through the back here. About that long”

He makes a space with his index finger and thumb about 4 inches apart, and then pulls his right leg into his lap, pointing to his calcaneus, a large bone in the back of the heel. It’s where your Achilles tendon attaches, and it basically provides the bone structure for the back of your foot. It’s pretty important.

“this was a mess, and most of the meat on my left leg was, like, just gone.”

“So will you ever walk again?”

By now I’m completely engrossed in this guy and his story. Jarod pops out of his chair, or at least he tries to, as he cocks his head to the side and raises his forearms about shoulder height, palms out, smiling:

“hell yea!?”

I told him the truth; that I’d never actually met anyone who’d been crippled fighting in Iraq, how close to home it finally felt, and how sorry I was that it’d happened. Maybe he felt the pain I felt for him and it made him uncomfortable, or maybe he just is an incredibly positive, reseliant person- I’d like to believe the latter:

“It’s not a big deal. This kind of shit happens, I’m not gonna let it get me down.”

I can only imagine how going through something like that would be like. I can only imagine looking down at where my legs should be and seeing a pool of blood form in the tan sand on the side of the road, in some foreign country thousands of miles away from where I live.

I can only imagine the thoughts going through my head lying alone in some military hospital, wondering, hoping they wouldn’t amputate. I can only imagine how it would feel to find out that yes- sorry Jarod. Both of them. From the knee down. But don’t worry, they’ve made some amazing break-throughs in prosthetics in the past decade. And the really great news is the government will pay for everything!

I can only imagine the plane ride home, having to take a commercial airline and enduring the adulations of people who didn’t really get it- – you’re a god damn war hero, son. I’d just like to shake your hand. Thank you! Fuuuck you.

I can only imagine having my mom pick me up from the airport, and having to explain to her what had happened. Having her cry and trying not to, even though not so long ago I was the one who’d cry when I was hurt; and she was the pillar of strength.

I can only imagine what something like that would do to my self esteem: never being able to carry a girl off to bed or make love on the beach, or meet anyone new without being asked or judged by the wheelchair.

I can only imagine calling my girlfriend  and  having to clarify why I’d be coming home sooner, and that it would be O.K. if she wanted to just break things off now, that I’d understand, and then wondering whether if deep down she really wanted to even after forced out ‘No, of course not!’ through broken sobs.

I guess I realized two things from meeting this guy. First of all, I never really worried or even thought about the war until now. I just didn’t care. I was too caught up in my own little bubble, living my own life, to actually realize that our generation, a generation that grew up with the internet, without every witnessing slavery, a generation I’d like to think is pretty enlightened an evolved, is still making home-made bombs to maim and kill people. People are still killing and maiming each other. I would never wish that on my worst enemy. I can’t even fathom the level of hate and/or ignorance it would take to do something so nauseating.

The second thing I realized is its all about your attitude, how you perceive the situation. I think if I lost my legs, that would have kind’ve been it for me: I’d probably be depressed, angry, I’d try to blame it on people and events in my life… It would have been ugly. Jarod just kind of shrugged it off- it happened, accept it, and move on. I’ll try and harbor this attitude next time I face a life challenge I feel is unfair or daunting, and be thankful I still have me legs.

When I was a kid (1990’s) raves seemed like seedy underground, often illegal, venues catering almost exclusively to subversive drug users and defiant teens. They were anything but mainstream. At least that’s the way the media portrayed it; and it worked– I certainly never wanted to touch one with a ten foot pole. They seemed too hardcore, too seditions, too weird. I never heard of any of the artist or songs, the venues were shabby, makeshift basement or warehouses, and the only people I knew who were into that kind of thing were hard drug users.

Well… this summer (2009) I went to one- some friends were going and I was bored on a Saturday night… I got dragged into it. First of all, I have to preface what I’m about to describe by letting you know I am not into trance music, friendship bracelets, ecstasy, glowsticks, or any of the crap I typically assumed would be associated with a rave. I was skeptical.

When we got there, I realized not only was the $80 ticket justified, but that these events had been completely mainstreamed, re-branded, and commercialized. They are no longer referred to as ‘raves’—I presume because of the connotation and press the word has received in the past years. Instead, you are looking at ‘festivals’ like Electric Daisy Carnival, Together As One, Love Fest, etc…

The venues are huge, nothing drab- mostly in massive sports stadiums, with elaborate, impressive lighting and décor (I think TAO is in the Clippers stadium). Some if this lighting I can’t even describe, because there’s nothing to really compare it with. There are hired professional entertainers, dancers, fire blowers, people in costumes, on stilts, pro bodybuilders. Carnival rides. Full bars. 8 dollar water.  It was like the Mr. Hyde of DisneyLand with the price tag to match. It was different… but not how you would describe a friends ugly haircut to their face. It was a good different. Sometimes its good to branch out a little.

The cops are still there, but not to break it up- it’s more of a ‘let’s keep everyone safe’ feeling. They’d have to be, because the one thing that’s stayed consistent with these raves, festivals, whatever you want to call them- is the drugs. I’d say most all of the people we saw there were on drugs. And I say this conservatively.

So here’s my commentary; the so what: I think it’s amazing how far the government, the law, people’s values, and American culture is willing to turn its head for a buck. Well lets do the math- EDC had 140,000 people, at $80 a piece (let’s ignore how many $8 waters everyone bought) that’s 11.2 million. Not bad for 1 night. I’d like to see the Clippers pull that kind of crowd .

I just find it remarkable how hard the government campaigned against drugs and yet as soon they found a ‘legal’ rhmm taxable way to support this kind of venue, it was mainstreamed overnight. Just look at David Guetta, the headliner for TAO- you know, the guy who did GRRR, the hardcore, underground DJ? The King of House? The one that just now came out with a song with Akon, Kid Cudi, Kelly Rowland,  Julie McKnight and a few other mainstream superstars? I guess cash really is king, because 10 years ago no one was getting their hands dirty with this underground stuff.

I’m not saying the promoters are selling these kids pills at the door, but they are hosting a venue with full knowledge that that stuff goes on, and the police have to look the other way pretty hard.

I’m not saying drugs are beneficial part of any society, but I also think people will do them legal or not. So I’m also not going to say that this mainstreaming and commercialization of something once thought unmarketable is bad- I think it’s great. The venues are better, the people have more fun, they’re safer, and I think Sexy Bitch rocks. On top of that, everyone makes some money, including Uncle Sam. I just wish he would stop being so anti-drug except for when it’s economically convenient. It’s deceptive and I’m tired of the government treating it’s citizens like children.

Anyways, if Insomniac Events ever had an IPO I’d buy stock. I really only see this getting bigger.

I’ve been feeling pretty unsure about myself and the direction my life has been going lately. To be honest, I’ve been really stressed and anxious about it (does it even have direction?) so the other night I actually took some time to sit down, and write out my goals. This was the first time I think I’ve ever actually sat down and detailed a goal before; and let me just say I feel so much better now that I have a plan and some direction.

I’ve always been told that setting goals is important, but it never really clicked as to why. I just saw sitting down and writing out my goals as a pain in the ass, so I never really did it. I also think it’s kind of scary to actually materialize your goals like that (what if you never accomplish them!).

Before I get into my 12 steps on effective goal setting (which I condensed from Brian Tracy’s Psychology of Success–yes, I’m a huge nerd) let me just talk briefly about why so few people set specific goals for themselves. I know more than one of these reasons applied to me, and when I saw it on paper I realized what a coward I was being.

1)      People don’t understand the importance of having goals, so they don’t bother to set any. I remember reading a study done on Harvard students. After graduation, the graduates were interviewed and asked if they had set specific goals for their life after college, and if they had mapped out a plan to achieve these goals. Only 3% had. What was really interesting to me is that in a 20-year-after follow up study, it was found that the 3% who had mapped out goals and a means of achieving them had a higher net worth than the other 97% of the graduating class. Combined!

Another reason to set and write out goals is it ingrains them into your subconscious. Our subconscious controls a lot of our automated actions and thoughts. It makes sense to have these thoughts and actions align with what we want in life.

Also consider that all really successful people have or have had definite goals. Seriously: go talk to anyone you believe to be very successful and ask them. I try to avoid absolutes but I feel like this one is pretty true, and profound.

2)      Fear of rejection. We are afraid to have goals because we fear others might belittle us or tell us we can’t accomplish it, we’re too slow, too uneducated, etc. This is why it is best to only share your goals with other people who set goals and would be excited to encourage you. Otherwise, keep them to yourself.

3)      Fear of failure. This fear comes from the lack of realization that failure is a necessary part of achieving any worthwhile success. You will never realize your goal until you have taken the knocks, done the grunt work, and learned the lessons necessary to achieve greatness. What did Edison say? ‘I haven’t failed in making the light bulb, I’ve successfully identified 5,000 ways that it can’t be made’- something like that. You get the message.

4)      People don’t know how to set goals. I didn’t. I had to go out and learn. Here is the best process I’ve found so far. Here are the steps:

1)      The first thing is identify something that you want badly. It has to be a burning desire. And make it something completely selfish, for example avoid goals like “I want to lose weight for my boyfriend”. A goal has to be completely personal and selfish.

2)      2^nd Step: Belief. You have to believe you can do it, so set realistic goals. If you’re conscious mind can’t accept the goal, your subconscious won’t either. If you want to increase your income, increase it in %50 increments (annual salary). This is believable. Make realistic steps that you can visualize and affirm. Your goals should make you stretch, and have a 50/50 chance of working. 50/50 means it’s gonna be hard, it’s gonna take you out of your comfort zone; but it also means its very likely to happen.

3)      3^rd Step: Write it down– this is how you program it into the subconscious. Write it in vivid detail. Use sensory descriptions.

4) Determine all the ways you will benefit from achieving your goal. Usually there is more than one perk that comes with reaching a goal. Maybe its more money, more respect, or simply increased self confidence for attaining your goal. The more reasons you can give your mind to do it, the more motivation you will have.

5)      Determine exactly where you are today in regards to your goal. How can you measure progress and know where you are going if you don’t know where you start?

6)      Set a deadline. Make it quantifiable. Measurable. The only time we feel happy, like a winner, is when we are moving towards a goal. Unless we can clearly measure the start, the end, and our steps along the way, we won’t have that winning feeling which is a huge motivation/makes us positive.

7)       Determine the obstacles along the way. A goal must have obstacles by definition. If it didn’t, it’s just an activity. Identify the hurdles, and resolve to pay the price to get through them. (They usually look a lot more manageable on paper, btw).

8)       Identify the knowledge you will need to get in order to attain your goal. All worthwhile goals will require that you learn and gain new knowledge. So find out what you need to know, and then learn it.

9)      Identify groups/mentors/people you will need to cooperate with you on your way to your goal. Figure out what you are going to do for them in order to get their cooperation.

10)    Make a plan- and make it detailed. Make a list of activities you will need to do, then list them in order of time and priority. This plan is dynamic, go back and change it constantly. It will need adjustments along the way.

11)    Make a clear visualization of your goal as already accomplished. Play that picture of your goal in your mind frequently. The more the better.

12)   Back your plan with determination and resolve. Make the absolute, unequivocal commitment to get it done, to pay the price. JUST WIN BABY.  Self discipline is persistence in action, and persistence is a measure of your belief in yourself. If you are very willing to pick  yourself up every time, it becomes very obvious to your subconscious that you believe strongly in your ability.

If you don’t have any goals, it’s probably the best thing you can do for yourself. Now. And just have one at a time, so you can  focus on it fully.

In sports, they call it “flow”. It’s that feeling of being unstoppable, of fulfillment, of unconditional disregard for life’s day to day issues that usually litter our psyche.

It’s the feeling you get when you are 100% immersed in an activity; completely and wholly absorbed by it. You don’t feel pain, you don’t worry, you don’t even think at all. It’s almost an out of body experience. Hours seem like minutes- it’s almost meditative. Your mind goes blank, and you just feel ‘in the zone’.

If you’ve never played sports, sex is an example that almost anyone can relate too. When you are having sex, you aren’t thinking about anything—you are fully focused and absorbed in the act. You are totally present. You aren’t worried about work, or thinking about something else (hopefully). This is one of the reasons sex is so fulfilling.

When we worry or think about things we aren’t presently doing, all we are doing is wasting psychic energy. It’s impossible to change something by thinking about it. But you can drain yourself psychically. Recall a day that seemed particularly stressful. Chances are you didn’t exert yourself anymore or take on any extra work; you probably just did a lot of worrying about something. In other words, you weren’t being present.

When I first heard ‘just be present’ I was almost dismissive because it’s such a simple concept, but as a guy who worries (less now) I’ve found it very profound.

Whatever you do on a day to day basis, I encourage you to just become fully immersed in the activity at hand. Stop thinking, just do it. Feel it. Get into it. You’ll find life much more rewarding.

‘ There is no such thing as a no sale call. A sale is made on every call you make. Either you sell the client some stock or he sells you a reason he can’t. Either way a sale is made, the only question is who is gonna close? You or him? Now be relentless, that’s it. I’m done.’ -Jim Young, Boiler Room -1999

The first thing I really enjoy about sales is it’s very quantifiable. I like being able to quantify my value to the company. If you ask most people what it is they do for their company to increase value, you’d probably get very vague answers: “well, I helped a my boss a lot with X,Y and Z, I have great client relations, I helped streamline X process”. Sure, all those things may be true, but how did it effect the bottom line? If you were sick that day, would the company have made any less money?

Ask me what I did last month. I could tell you exactly-30K in receivables, or whatever. My point is I like knowing my hard work is paying off, and at the end of the day, the most important part of any business’s success is the cold hard cash. (Care to argue?)

I also like the idea of actually being rewarded for my skill level and effort. In college I had a job working at a very ritzy resort as a security guard. During night shifts, part of my job was to deliver newspapers to the cottages at the crack of dawn. We had 5 different newspapers, and every guest got to choose which ones they wanted. Whenever I worked nights, everyone got a USA Today and a Wall Street Journal.

You think if I had taken the time to sort through each guest’s preference list, plan a speedy route, and get them exactly the paper they wanted, every time, I might have been promoted? Maybe. But that was a gamble, and 8AM class wasn’t. So I cut corners. My point is I find direct and immediate reward for my actions much more motivating. This is something I get from sales. Maybe it’s just an addictive personality, but I actually get a little rush closing big deals. Who doesn’t love instant gratification?

The competitiveness of sales is also something I find attractive. When you walk out of that office after a client meeting, you’re either a champion or failure. In a world of grey, sales is refreshingly black and white: Did they sign on the line? It’s all on you. I think this is why I excel more in individual sports- I like all the attention and credit; even if it comes at the price of being wholly at fault. I like being %100 responsible and independent when it comes to my success. This can be chilling and stressful, but it’s also very empowering.

Some things you can be taught, others you must learn.

The last thing I admire and respect about anyone in sales is the sheer skill (and balls) that goes into being a top producer. I don’t care if you are selling Orange Glo door to door, or brokering million dollar accounts for high net worth individuals. Anything to do with sales and you’re in for some hard knocks.  Selling is a lot like surfing: you can read books and study the subject for 20 years, but that first time you step onto a surf board, you will fall.

You will butcher calls, lose clients, and fumble accounts due to inexperience. This is where skill comes in. There is intangible finesse that really good sales people have. They put you at ease. They connect with your personality. They read your subtle gestures and psychological idiosyncrasies. Then they seamlessly tailor this information into a holistic, custom, and emotionally reactive presentation. And they do it without batting an eye, and without the client ever noticing that they are being “sold”.

A good presentation is very gestalt. Ever seen Jordan shoot a fade-away jumper? It’s perfect.  But it’s not just the way his feet leave the ground, the way the ball rolls of his fingertips, or the hanging arch- its all these things together that make it great, and distinguishable from any one of its constituents. With sales, the skill involved is less obvious; and that’s kind of the point.

To get to this level, you really have to feel every situation. This means hearing “no” a thousand different ways, and for a thousand different reasons.  It means slammed doors. It means dial tones. It means “I need to think about it” and “I need to talk to my wife”. All you can do is be a little more prepared the next time.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. – Michael Jordan

So this is where I am at right now with sales. I don’t pretend to be the best, but I have made a commitment to becoming a consistent top producer, and this means studying and picking up gems of wisdom from people who know more than me. Over the next few months, I’ll try to bring new philosophies, tips, or lessons that I’ve picked up along the way. My aim is to give you practical, applicable bits that you can use immediately, even if your career doesn’t focus on directly sales. (Trust me, it does).

The fact is, everyone is in sales. Whatever area you work in, you do have clients and you do need to sell.
-Jay Abraham

“Choose your thoughts carefully .. you are a masterpiece of your life”

Throughout my college career, I felt like I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I chose a major rather haphazardly, and winged it from there. It’s strange though, the people, experiences, and events that seemed to pop into my life (sometimes literally) all seem to lead me to where I am today. All these events and people seemed to uncannily compliment each other as well.

Selling hasn’t always been easy for me; in fact parts of it still frustrate and discourage the hell out of me. It’s not something I was naturally good at either, when I first started I was about as useless as an asshole on elbows. However, the feelings of anxiety and despair conjured by helplessly watching a deal fall apart can only be matched by the elation I get from closing. There have been countless failures in my juvenile career, and in the pits of despair and frustration I will admit to contemplating throwing in the towel more than a few times.

A couple months ago I had an especially rough day. 2 very large real estate deals I had been working on for weeks fell through. Both of my clients called me out of the blue and simply weren’t happy with the terms we could provide them. I sat back helplessly in my chair as I watched my deals (and commission) vanish, like spilt milk seeping into the dirt. I was crushed. I stepped out into the blistering summer heat in my sports coat and khakis and just started walking.

A number of thoughts were racing through my mind. Quitting was at the forefront. But then something else popped into my mind: if I quit now, I would be quitting (in my own eyes) as a failure- or at the very least not a success. It occurred to me that the next time a daunting challenge manifested itself in my life, I would probably quit as well. So right there I made the commitment to myself to become the best of the best, and to do so consistently. It was strange, from that day forward, new sales opportunities presented themselves. I started learning and reading more. Old prospects called me back out of the blue. Doors started to open. And it all started with a commitment.

I think whatever field you’re in, whatever worthy endeavor you plan on undertaking, absolute and unreserved commitment is essential to success. Without it, being the best or among the elite is as close to impossible as I like to believe things get.

If you are not giving it your all, there will always be the guy who is willing to come in on Saturdays, to stay late, to improve and practice and learn; who is willing to sacrifice everything- he will make you obsolete. Making a commitment, actually gritting your teeth and honestly telling yourself “you’re going to do whatever the fuck it takes!”, is powerful. Stars align. Doors open. Prospects actually start calling you back. So I encourage you, if your spending your valuable time in a career, even if your not 100% convinced it’s the right field for you, make a commitment. Get focused. Create “luck”.

Anytime you are voluntarily trading your time in the pursuit of personal gain, you need to take a good look at yourself and the situation, and make a decision: shit or get off the pot. If you aren’t going to commit to it, you won’t maximize gains, so be honest with yourself and spend that time on something you can commit too. If you’re going to spend time at your job, be the best. If you are going to spend time working out, why not go balls to the wall? (Ever seen a girl reading a book on the stationary bike? Was she very fit?). It’s interesting how if you put in 75% effort, you only get %25 returns. But if you truly give %100, you get far more back. So give unreservedly without the expectation of return, you will be rewarded.

The past months have been challenging, but also the most rewarding and energizing. For me this commitment has meant coming in on the weekends, making more cold calls, investing time and money in books, learning from those who know more than me, drinking less, and I don’t have time to pursue any serious relationships. Since I’m doing this anyway, I thought I’d share all the valuable gems of wisdom I’ve picked up on the way. I promise to bring you only the best, and only include what has personally worked for me, and only things that are immediately applicable and tangible.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.”

-Goethe